A Magazine Editor's Pet Peeves

As I get older, I find myself letting go a lot easier. I don't get mad so quickly and for so long.

But, as an editor, there are some things I feel I will never understand. Here's my list of pet peeves from years in the magazine publishing business.

Pet Peeve #1. Photographers asking how many photos we plan to print prior to shooting

Listen, I get it. You don't want to waste your time shooting memory card after memory card if we're only going to print a handful of shots. I don't want to waste your time either. I don't pay you enough to waste your time. But asking me how many photos I plan on using is basically saying, "What's the minimum numbers photos I need to shoot and submit for the story?" or "How little do I have to work to get this job done?" In fairness, I don't know how many photos we are going to print. If the shots are amazing and I have enough pages, I'm going to utilize as many photos as possible; but if I get my pages slashed or the photos don't come out as well as we hope, then I can't accommodate too many photos. Bottom line: I don't know the answer until I receive all the shots, and the more amazing ones that get submitted, the more likely I am to print a large quantity.

Pet Peeve #2. Photographers asking if they only need to shoot a vertical or horizontal shot

Yes, I do try to understand this as well. Setting up a vertical shot versus a horizontal one are two different things and require two different set ups of lights, etc., and time. But this pet peeve kind of goes back to pet peeve #1 and the minimal amount of effort put into an assignment. And, again, I don't know ahead of time if I'm going to print a vertical or horizontal.

Pet Peeve #3. Photographers telling me shooting XYZ is not possible

Show me it's not possible, that's all I ask. If my shot list for a story on marine life includes photographing a dolphin at the local aquarium and the dolphin no longer is housed there, just take a quick shot from your phone to physically show me the animal isn't there anymore. I'm not there, so I don't know that Snowflake isn't there today. Telling me something isn't possible could be interpreted as "I don't feel like doing it."

Pet Peeve #4. Not getting off the hook for a typo when writing an e-mail

Again, I get it. If you're a professional surgeon operating on me or my family members, I don't expect you to mess up. But comparing surgery to misspelling a word or two in an e-mail (or my blog) is definitely an apples-to-oranges comparison. Sometimes I think people are proud when they find a typo or mistake in my e-mails/blogs. It's like, "Ah-ha! A mistake! Let me point it out, highlight it and point it out to her and everyone else." Undoubtedly I should be held to a higher standard when it comes to writing; but I'm human and I make mistakes. Just like everyone else, I write e-mails quickly and usually as I'm doing 53 other things. I hate making mistakes and being careless - it's just bad practice and sloppy. And when it comes to e-mails and blogs, I try to proofread them, but sometimes I don't catch my own error upon my quick read-through. I don't expect Kobe to make every single shot, don't expect Greg Jennings to catch every ball, definitely don't think Phil's going to sink every putt, and don't think Nadal's never going to commit an unforced error.

Pet Peeve #5. Not knowing the facts about our magazine before you call or e-mail

Once, a PR consultant thought our magazine was based in Titusville... 200 miles north of where we actually are located. Another time, someone called our magazine a rival mag's name, thinking we were the same company. Um, no.

Pet Peeve #6. Writers not willing to re-research or rewrite a story.

Let's be honest: Writers have egos. I'm a writer, and I sure as hell have an ego. But I'm also an editor so I see a story a different way than a typical writer would. I'm willing to work with you if you're willing to work with me. I come at it from a third-person approach and studying loads of awesome narratives. I really enjoy language, syntax, a writer's voice and style. So if I'm asking you to rewrite one of your pieces, it's because I'm just trying to push you to find your voice or to get better clarity on a sentence or two. It's not because I want you to rewrite just to rewrite. Surprisingly there's a method to my madness. Not much method, but some.

Pet Peeve #7. Editors trashing other magazines

Seriously? There's a lot that goes into putting a magazine together, and trashing other magazines about their work and product is just not cool. First off, it's all subjective. What I might think is great, someone else might not. It's like a hair stylist trashing another stylist's work. There are just some no-no's in the business, and being rude about another publication's quality and work is one of them.

In Heaven There Is No Beer

Beer and I have been long-time adversaries. I don't like it, and it doesn't like me. My college days at the University of Florida underlined that message well. I've always been jealous of my friends who could gulp down beer like a parched marathoner devouring water at mile marker 22. My friend Ed is 6'3'', maybe 175 lb, and can down a 12-pack of Heineken in a couple of hours and come out looking like he only drank water. I was even in Ireland last year for about a week and could only force myself to have one pint of Guinness that entire trip. Freshman year everybody said "You'll grow to like beer." Bull crap.

So it's all the more amusing I decided to soak myself in it, wash my body and hair with it, and exfoliate with beer (not in that order) this past Friday. I was allowed to enjoy St. Patty's Day, a holiday I rarely celebrate due to my adversarial relationship with beer, a little early with a - get this - spa beer treatment. I indulged in an uber-unique, uber-luxurious and uber-relaxing beer treatment at, believe it or not, a five-star spa. Surprised as I was that a joint like the Spa Atlantic is drenching its chic guests with beer? I mean, not even drenching their guest, bathing them in beer. Literally.

Located inside the swanky boutique hotel, The Atlantic Resort & Spa, I was face-to-face with my foe, my nemesis: beer. With the spa undergoing a bit of a revamp with new spa director Kim DeOrsey (who's transformed spas like PGA National Resort & Spa, the Westin Diplomat and Mar-a-Lago) at its helm since November, ideas like enjoying a beer bath came rather organically. Introduced in September 2010, DeOrsey said the spa averages about five of these beer treatments a week.

The spa offered two beer treatments, the Citrus Suds Body Treatment and the Better Beer Cocoon (both $222 for 80 minutes). I was indulged with the latter.

Gwen, a spa professional with more than 25 years being a licensed therapist and aesthetician, was my therapist and was well versed in the benefits of beer beyond its use during Super Bowl parties.

"It's been used for years in Turkey, Russian and South America," she said. "The antioxidant qualities in beer are good for the skin and hair."

So there I was, me and beer. Like a clever marketing ploy that gets kids to eat cereal with a cartoon Tony the Tiger smiling on it, the beer she was using even had a friendly looking cartoon bee buzzing on its label, welcoming me to enjoy it. Gwen used a brand called Orange Blossom Beer, a beer native to Florida, in my spa treatment ("It's not like it's a Bud Light we're using," she joked.).

She laced the exfoliating scrub with beer and then wrapped me in a heated cocoon for about 10 minutes. While I was wrapped up, Gwen mixed more beer with a hair conditioner, ultimately leaving my hair super-shiny. I then soaked myself in a tub filled with beer, water and citrus slices. After lying in the stainless-steel tub for about 10 minutes, I got out, patted myself dry, and Gwen proceeded to lather me up with a beautiful citrus body butter. Oh, and if you're wondering, Orange Blossom Beer has an an alcohol by volume of 5.5%.

The overall experience was magnificent and well worth me facing my adversary. But I really didn't expect anything except magnificence at the Spa Atlantic, easily one of my favorite spas in the Fort Lauderdale area. It was such a unique experience that I doubt too many other spas can execute this procedure that well yet still highlight the essence of beer itself.

But did it get me to convert to being a beer drinker? Jury's still out on that one.

Catching air in Key West

A message to all jet ski riders out there: Watch out, Jennifer Tormo is on the waters.

This past weekend my fellow editor Jenn and I went to Key West for our friend Suzanne's destination wedding. What we'd do three hours before the wedding, before we got dolled-up for the black-tie affair? Circumnavigated Key West on a jet ski, of course.

Being Jenn's first trip ever on a jet ski, we had to get her to drive it. Mind you, Jenn drives a 2010 red Mustang, so she's used to speed. And, that's where the fun began.

We rode together on a dual rider, and all I can say is I now know how Rash, Zitz and Pimple felt. Remember those names? Yes, Battletoads characters from the good ol' Nintendo. Check out the screen shot below. Yes, that's how I felt while cruising shotgun in Key West.

Looking at the speedometer, we got up to 57 mph. And the only thing going through my mind as we caught air was how am I going to throw my legs in the air like the Battletoads while still holding on to the jet ski?

Oh, and being Jenn's first ride on a jet ski, she did pretty good. Good enough for me to let her borrow my Wayfarers.